Love is not how u think u wanted it to be but how u fight for it.

    

     "If it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger." Those are the words that I take into consideration each time my boyfriend and I have an argument. Almost every person in the world is in a relationship or has been in one before; they are not always easy to come by. Coming from a girl's perspective, we try and make the perfect relationship that we possibly can. We (us girls) are definitely wrong. There is not a single relationship that does not have its ups and downs. If there was a perfect relationship it would be a fairy tale.

     People have their own problems in life, but why would you want to put up with someone else's problems. When you begin a relationship it is like an unwritten document stating that you are willingly there to help your significant other when they need it. Some people do not know how to work out their differences in other ways than getting all upset and yelling at one another. There are many different ways around all of that: you can talk it out, mentally and/or physically change the way you act towards on another, or last, get help from a relationship counselor. Usually most people choose to work their problems out by talking to one another.

     Spending time together, but also doing your own thing is very important. Everyone wants to be around that one person they love, but it can become a problem that you may not notice. What if you do not like how that person is acting, or what they are doing. You cannot tell them to stop because it upsets them. They are their own person and probably acted that way in the beginning, but you are not noticing it because you are around one another all the time. Eventually everything will work out because you will grow to know what bothers your significant other, and what to do and not to do. Doing you own thing is always nice because if you just stop doing everything you did before it may make you become depressed. Who does not want to have fun once in a while, and hang out with the guys or girls?

     I am in a wonderful relationship with someone who I think is the greatest person in the world. Someone I can talk to, share things with I would not share with anyone else, and someone to help me in my time of need. However, we do have our differences and sometimes it is hard for me to "keep my cool." I like to work things out and speak my mind without someone telling me that what I have to say is wrong. Sometimes it is hard because he might not like what I am saying to him and he gets angry and upset. Each time we have an argument and talk things over we are learning from our mistakes, and building our relationship up to something strong than it was before.

     In a relationship there are many bumps along the way, and differences to overcome or work through. If you hold your head up, think positively, you can make it through anything.

Who can really understand?

It seems that ntg much I can do or say right nw, and I guess it takes time to heal...grudges or.. whatever. As a pessimism it also takes time to be a optimism right. Sigh.. I keep reminding myself not to think not to depress not to cry but I cant help thinking depressing and so crying. As an example U get high marks in the subject always n always but now u failed? What to do? The question just keep repeating in my mind over over and over again. "Be strong, be tough, r u okay? orrrr I trust that u always can." frds said. I can just fake a smile on my face n reply that "I'm okay, dont worry." It was a BIG HIT, it was. like... like getting hit by a truck or falling down from the 88th floor.. Who can really understand? 

Plan

Okay, now this is starting to get a little ridiculous. All I can say is if being a lazy bone means watching TV all day, eating snacks and taking naps in my bed, then I guess I've finally became a fatty ugly procrastinator.TOTALLY wrong. Well, I can kind of understand why things went like this. Everything was just in a mess within the pass 14weeks, stressed up and tied up, which kind of stinks man. I wished I could just lay down and lastly I did. Fortunately, its only been a few days without dealing with assignments. Ishh, how pathetic. 

Of course, I'm in a hurry to get over this. Today I made myself a mask time, self improvement time and got enough the sleeping time. Urghh Self improvement is always a MUST in my life, Audrey's life! And, let me tell u, its not easy falling asleep earlier when I cant even get used to it since I hv been getting to the bed at around 1 or 2 for the pass few months. I excused this to myself. lolololol.. However, I decided to stay perfectly still. 

To do list 
-get my hair dyed
-hydrate my skin
-read at least 50 english new words in dict EVERYDAY
-sketch at least 5 full page of A4 size EVERYDAY
-exercise and keep myself slim
-get myself a dance training class
-knowing more about music instrument

To accomplish list
GET SLIM!

I couldnt wait to start my weight-training programme. Even though time would distract me to get that smooth, but I wasnt going to let that hold me back. Enthusiastic the point.

Dealing With Nasty Attitudes and Jealous People

Have you ever felt that no-matter what you did to avoid someone who had something on you, you still found yourself face to face with their ugly scowl even if it took years for them to catch up with you?
Some people with nasty attitudes are just out to get you. These people are out to shrink your stature, belittle your character, intimidate your confidence and plow down your popularity. As the old saying goes, " What comes around goes around."



People that spend their time backstabbing and conniving mischief are just cowards themselves. Some secretly want what you got and if they can't have it themselves they try to find every feasible way to see you lose yours. If everyone likes you, these lava licking devils know it and often try to manipulate you and make you a laughing scoff. At all cost keep your integrity, they may be out to get you, but you don't have to let them win. Don't let them steal your candy and leave you with the wrapper. Forgiveness is essential, but there is a fine line between forgiveness and standing up for yourself. The worst thing you can do is return equal evil for evil, this will only prove the idiot right. Let them eat a little of their own medicine. They will suffer consequences when others see you have kept your dignity. The best thing for you and the worst thing for them is if you keep smiling. If you meet up with them, a gradual grin will send them spinning chasing their tail.


Sometimes after the long tussle they will come back and want to be your friend and join your band wagon. " Don't be rude, but firm and stubborn." Play a little hard to get, yet be still friendly at the same time." Sometimes this magically makes them fall on their knees for forgiveness." " Tell them you forgive them, but make them earn back your trust." Often the ones that seem to cause you the most trouble really admire you, but are consumed with jealousy. Others are intimidated by you and think they can build their own kingdom by tearing down yours. "Don't ever tear yourself down in front of the snobby, cocky, mouthy, or quiet conniving person or you are waving the white flag of surrender." "Tell yourself that I am not going to melt down and be the asphalt that paves a street for pathetic attitudes to run over."


As the Good Book says, " Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall." They've got their thing coming! Ultimately, you can actually become friends ( it's happened many times), so stand your ground and keep your cool.

Love, the key that unlocks the bars of impossibility.

"Sometimes, we need to be hurt in order to grow, must lose in order to gain. Some lessons are learned best through pain....."


Dear boyfriend

Im sry for the fights that we hv got into. Im sry for making u down. Im sry if I get jealous. Im sry if I act childish sometimes. Im sry if Im pain in the ass sometimes. And Im sry for everything that I'll do to make u unhappy. Dear, thx for being there when I need u the most. Thx for brightening up my day. If u make me cry, then thats okay. Just dont make that a habit. If u hold my hand, hold it tight so that u can make sure that I dont slip away. If u hold me, just know that I wont stop smiling. I want u to know that if I ever do slip away, I didnt want to, but it was smtg that I couldnt help. And when I realize how stupid I was, I hope that u still havent given up on me yet. They say that boys arent worth my tears, but I want u to be the boy thats worth my tears, I know that there ll be times whr I cant always make u happy and whr I wont be able to see u bcuz of some issues, but know that I would be understanding although sometims I really just want to be with u right at that moment and just want to be in ur arms. I dont need u to kiss me every minute like how some couples are bcuz I would rather u just surprise me. I love it when u make laugh even if its smtg completely stupid, a cheesy joke, a silly face, anything. I dont care if sometimes we stay up all night on da phone n not even say anything to each other. I will accept everything just for who u are.

Im extremely sry for my behavior with u on last night. I got very frustrated been very rude to u. Dont ever think of the things u cant gv me. U hv trusted me with the dearest heart of all and Its soooo damn much more than anybody else in all the world has ever had. Words will never fully express how sorry I am, but I truly hope that its a good start. Im sorry. I regret ntg more in life than what I have done to u. It was wrong, stupid and immature and u dont deserve any of the grief and anger I hv caused u. I cant bear to see u unhappy bcuz of my actions. When our relationship began I promised to myself that I would make u happy like nobody else, I failed. I failed both of us. But I want to make amends, I truly do. Fights make us grow and gain and god is giving us many tasks. Somehow we still love each other and still stay with each other, cherish the relationship like we always do. 

Pervert, ure sooo 'perverty' like nobody else, and I love this pervert without any reasons.  Lessons learned, be happy okay? I found out the smile in my tears by looking into the mirror. That moment, I told myself u are the one. I love u. I can never express it as much as I feel it.


恋爱不是要找到一个完美的人，而是要学会去爱一个不完美的人。

Ur failure but devoted princess :)

What I have been through lately.

Well. we hv officially been ex-couple for about few years nw, and to be honest with u, Im better off without u. Im glad I can just do whatever I want without having to worry abt carrying all that dead problems around. Last night I was lying in bed, and it hit me : whats the point you msg me on fb? nonsense. fooling around? opps its sarcastic. Well, now I hv gone and done it. Whatever Whatever and Whatever, I hv a new life. I hv a good boyfieee. Let me get something straight : this is a statement, neither showing off nor comparison. Jason Mok, I love you.   #18th of April


Hmm, the 2nd week of school is finally over, so today I slept in. Most ppl wake up early on Saturday to hang out or whatever, but not me. The only reason I get out of bed at all on weekends is because eventually I cant stand the noises from my house living room anymore *due to the 2 little naughty plus cuteeety kids*. Zzz. When I woke up this morning and opened my so called schedule book, hell. I screamed. There were about a millions stuff to do, on the page. I wrote. On top of that, my lappie spoilt. Tied up, couldnt breathe at all. Well, what to do? nt to escape but face it. Urghh stressed enough huh? Hate it? I didnt mean that. It was jz..too much. However, those subjects in this sem are quite interesting like corel painter and sculpture. *foreword* *foreword* *justsayingfirstokayyyy* Whats in my mind...lecturer..can I take a rain check? NO bitch. *okay* - whats only can be replied as a dasein student. #21th of April


Today was the big production (my definition of sculpture) in college. It drives my crazy. As I mentioned jz nw, its interesting. BUT BUT BUT that was jz foreword. I found out today that the kind of "interesting" subject is completely different from what we see. It needed loads of energy and time. First of all, I hv to put on these things called "safety and hygiene stuffs", which look like those professional dentist (visual) plus the workers in renovation places (exactly hw u will feel). I guess I didnt do a good job of hiding my disappointment and I just got mad. Extremely difficult man. All I can say is, Im glad to be here anyway, not like my daddy working all day long under the sun. I feel sorry for dad of working so hard to earn money for us to sleep in the good condition room. Because if I had to work in the weather like how my daddy does, I dont think I could pull it off. Lesson learned, always be thankful for what u hv. Thank god, thank parents, thank friends, so does lover. They love me so much, caring and lovely. #25th of April


I was praying to god today. I told him lailai's daddy is having a tough situation, and I didnt know what to do. All I can do is pray hard n always be with him. God pls make good luck to him, all the best in his exam. Well, I got to give my dear babe for how he handled it. He nvr procrastinates and always use the time wisely. All he said was that he should try his best, because its our choices that make us who we are. As u sow, so shall u reap. He never ignores me tho. Dear, Im not here to say anything but I love you. Sincerely, ur girl. All the best kay, I will always, always support you. #26th of April

I will always, always love him.

My man  >>   

Jason Mok, let me be the reason u get through the day

know that I will make everything okay

Think of me baby in anyway I will be all u need

Let me be the one u turn to when there's pain

Baby I will take it allllllllll away.

My pervert  *who always would still be there when I'm really pissed off* 

My prince *who always be the most understanding when my temper getting worse*

My dearest *who always stand by me no matter what happened*

Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it..

Ure not perfect, and I'll save u the suspense. 

I'm not perfect either but surely we're perfect for each other. 

And yayyyy

Our wall painting and song with the lovely lyric are coming soon

Stay tunedddd